Thursday, May 29, 2008


After I finished watering the lower beds this afternoon where I had just planted some squash and eggplant, I was lost in thought about how I was going to repair several leaks in my garden hose, leaks that delayed the watering process for a good thirty minutes and soaked me in the process. When I got about half way up to the house, a loud, in fact a very loud and rather strong, bzzzzzzz interrupted my thoughts and engulfed me from every direction. At that very moment, I realized I was literally in the middle of a swarm of bees, millions of many bees that I could barely see in front of me, so many bees that I felt a bee breeze from all the flying taking place around me.

For a very brief moment, I was quite flattered with the thought that these little creatures might have considered me their "queen" for the afternoon, but that quickly passing thought transformed into a level of PANIC as I realized it appeared these frantic little insects with stingers looked like they wanted to land on ME !!!!!!! YIKES!!!

Time stood still. In a matter of no more than 3 seconds, I contemplated racing into the house (that would mean a swarm of bees inside the house!), screaming bloody murder (frightened bees many times STING!), and wondering if was going to be one of those people who wear bee beards at the local Honey Festival (I've never had any desire to wear bees!).

Every cell in my body rang the panic alarm, but in the back of my mind, I heard my own voice, telling the kids to be like a rock when the bees buzzed around them. So that's what I did; I stood absolutely still and pretended I was a huge (and petrified!!-no pun intended) rock that held no appeal whatsoever for the millions of bees buzzing around me.

As quickly as they came to check me out, they took in unison. I suppose the real queen flew by, and her admirers realized I was not the woman of their passion and devotion. THANK GOD!!!

My trembling legs got me to the house, where I promptly opened a bottle of wine and toasted to my good luck. I did venture out a few minutes later to see if I could locate the swarm, but the bee clan apparently decided to move on, and that was totally OK by me !!!!!


lori said...

Tanya! I totally got stung today! I haven't been stung by anything since I was like 7 years old! Wow! What a story! Wow wow wow!

i am very mary said...

Um, Tanya? You are the bravest woman I know. Not only would I have screamed, panicked, ran like hell, and generally freaked out, I also would have peed my pants and cried. And then maybe a nervous breakdown. Right then and there. I'm so impressed by your natural intuition. You petrified rock, you.