Life is Better on the Farm

ANYONE SEEN MY GROCERIES??

It's been a zany couple of days on many levels... The craziest mix-up I've had in a while took place in Giant Eagle (formerly Big Bear) yesterday.

I had set 20 minutes as my goal to get in the store, get my groceries, and head out the door. I had even made a list to cut down on the "trying to remember what I was there for" time. When I got to the seafood department, the usual overly exuberant employee was nowhere to be found, so I stood patiently at the counter and waited for one of the meat cutters in the back to see me. I'm not that small, and I'm not that easy to overlook, especially after I had waited five minutes and was jumping up and down, waving to get the attention of the guys in the back. I just wanted a couple of salmon steaks that were on special, and they were dwindling fast. I parked my cart at the end of an aisle out of everyone's way and continued with my antics, to no avail.

About that time, my friends, Beth and Sherm, came walking by, and we chatted for a couple of minutes. They, too, were in need of service from the seafood / meat attendants, but we were soon engaged in some good conversation and laughter and momentarily forgot about the lack of service.

A few minutes later, they ambled on, and I decided to chalk up the idea of fixing salmon for dinner. I turned around to continue my sojourn down the cat and dog food aisle, only to find that my grocery basket had been replaced with another cart that had NOTHING I would have ever bought for our house...bologna, Velveeta cheese, pickled sausage, etc. I was really quite perplexed. Who could mistake tofu, granola, and maple syrup for processed gunk?

So, I left the mystery cart in its place (where my cart had originally been) and set off to find the person who had obviously made the exchange of our grocery baskets. Along the way, I frightened one elderly lady as I look over her shoulder, thinking the bright orange color in her basket was the clementines and organic carrots I had gathered up. (She had an huge orange jug of laundry detergent.) Then I asked another woman if she had the correct cart when I saw she had the same all natural cheese puffs I like to get for snacks...Nope, not her either...The third person I accosted in the search just looked at me and laughed.

Long story short...I toured the store three times and couldn't locate anyone with my grocery cart. (I imagine I was the "star" of the store videotapes as I power-walked up and down the aisles three times around!) So, I started over with a new basket and tried to read again all the things I had scratched off my list.

When I got back to the meat / seafood section, the men in the gross, bloody aprons were still slicing up some bright red flesh in the back. I never did catch their eye, but as I turned to again head up the animal food aisle, what should I run into but my first cart!?! I couldn't believe it!!!

Embarrassed enough, I politely explained the entire story to one of the stockers who was taking inventory of toilet paper and had watched my tours of the store. She graciously said she'd take care of replacing the items in Cart #1. I finished my shopping and left, glad to be out the door with most of the stuff on my list.....

Now, Marietta, OH, is a small town, and yes, I've taught about half the population over the age of 25 or so in the area. But I had no idea that today, three people would ask me what on earth I was doing running around like a crazed woman in the grocery store. Now my fear is that I'm going to make the town paper tomorrow!

Namasté.....